Supporting Third-Party Contacts

When someone contacts Lifeline worried about another person, they’re often scared, unsure what to do, and carrying the weight of responsibility. This page offers a calm, compassionate path forward — supporting both the person of concern and the one reaching out.

📌 Core Goals in Third-Party Contacts

“We respond not just with action — but with presence, clarity, and care.”

Gently assess the safety of the person of concern

Coach the third party in how to support their loved one

Take the least-invasive steps possible to increase safety

Offer emotional support to the third party themselves

🔍 Ask What They Know

Explore what led them to reach out — their insight is your window in:

Was the concern based on a call, text, post, or in-person interaction?

Do they know about suicidal thoughts, past attempts, or big behavioral shifts?

Have they seen signs of access to means or heard specific plans?

If they only know the person online, share Lifeline’s Social Media Safety Page

They may only know fragments. That’s okay. Fragments still matter.

🧠 Safety Assessment (Adapted for Third-Party Insight)

Try to explore these four areas — but only as much as the third party can speak to:

Desire — Are they afraid the person wants to die?

Intent — Any specific plan, timeline, or steps taken?

Capability — Access to lethal means, substance use, past attempts?

Buffers — Who’s in their life? What might be keeping them here?

Let the third party guide the depth. Some will know more than others.

🗣️ Coaching the Third Party

Support them in becoming a bridge — not a therapist. Offer guidance like:

Asking directly and kindly about suicide

Listening without jumping in to fix

Talking during a calm moment in a safe setting

Sharing 988 with their loved one

Sitting with them while they call or text

Helping them build a basic safety plan together

“Would it feel okay to ask them directly if they’ve been thinking about suicide?”

“What’s helped you talk with them during other tough moments?”

You can also direct them to: #BeThe1To and Lifeline Support for Others

📞 Action Steps You Might Explore Together

With the third party’s willingness and ability in mind:

A three-way call (counselor + third party + person of concern)

Contacting a caregiver, clinician, or mobile crisis

Removing lethal means, staying with the person, or escorting them to care

Offering a warm handoff: “Would you be willing to encourage them to reach out to us directly?”

Never pressure. Offer. Collaborate. Support.

If they’re hesitant, honor that with care.

🧷 Third Party Anonymity

Some people prefer not to share their identity — and that’s okay.

“We won’t share your information unless it’s necessary to help keep someone safe. Even then, we’ll be as careful as possible.”

You can still assess, offer care, and explore next steps — even without their full name.

❤️ Support the Supporter

The third party may be carrying more than concern — they might be in distress themselves. Don’t forget to check in:

“Have you had any thoughts of suicide yourself lately?”

“This sounds like a lot to carry. How are you holding up right now?”

“You reached out because you care — but we’re here for you, too.”

Let them know they deserve care as well. Holding someone else’s pain is heavy work — and they don’t have to do it alone.

"Simply reaching out today was an act of love."